Falling In
by ihearttvsnark
Summary: AU Quinn is living in New York City and struggling with the decisions she has made in the past. A chance encounter with someone unexpected gives her a new perspective on life and love.
1. Suddenly I See

**Author's Note: This is an AU story set in the same universe as my story Written All Over My Face. If you aren't familiar with that, the most important thing you need to know is Quinn moved in with Rachel after the truth came out about the baby and she gave the baby up for adoption. This is the first in a series of oneshots. A special thanks to my friends Katy and Kathy for reading along the way and catching my late night errors. XOXO.**

One of the first discoveries Quinn Fabray made after moving from Lima, Ohio to New York City was that there was no such thing as a quiet night in Manhattan. It didn't matter what the temperature was or if it was raining or snowing or unseasonably warm – people would always be out in full force taking advantage of everything the city had to offer. The city had its own unique pulse and the air crackled with its energy as people went about their lives – talking on cell phones, hailing cabs, rushing to catch the subway or just walking with friends – all resulting in a buzz that was impossible to ignore.

It had taken her a few weeks to get used to the constant noise. Back home in Lima, a person could hear a pin drop after ten p.m. But in New York, there were car horns and shouts and sirens and everything else one could imagine day or night. She'd lain awake her first few nights in her new apartment just listening to the noise in awe and wondering if she would ever feel comfortable there.

Now it was spring and after living in New York for nearly a year, the constant noise was nothing more than a slight buzz in the air. Quinn had grown accustomed to tuning it out as easily as she had learned to tune out Rachel's late night voice drills. The screeching tires and delighted tourists taking pictures barely registered as she walked through the famous archway of Washington Square Park.

The park had become one of her favorite places in the city. She passed through it on a daily basis walking between her Greenwich Village apartment and the NYU campus and she enjoyed studying by the fountain or people watching near the arch. It was a great place to have lunch or listen to her iPod while she waited for a friend between classes.

But more importantly, Quinn had discovered the park was also a great place to be alone. She veered away from the fountain and walked further down the path that led to the more secluded area of the park. There were more trees than people and the benches were scattered further apart than the ones closest to the arch. A steady stream of joggers, dog walkers and rollerbladers still passed by, but no one paid any attention to her as she sat down on an empty bench.

Quinn had become an expert at blending into the scenery.

She knew it was ironic that a former head cheerleader who had ruled her high school for two solid years before taking a nasty fall from grace would learn to appreciate being ignored. She'd never imagined herself being the kind of person who would like being on the sidelines or who wanted no part of the action. But here she was alone in the middle of the biggest city in the country relishing her solitude.

It wasn't like she was anti-social. She had friends – more importantly – she had good friends who she knew she could count on no matter what. She had made new friends in classes and with some people who lived in her building. There was any number of people she could call if she needed someone to talk. But tonight, she wasn't interested in talking to anyone. Well, that wasn't exactly true. There was one person she wished she could talk to.

Her daughter.

Today was her little girl's third birthday. Quinn still couldn't believe it had been three years since she'd given birth and held her tiny baby in her arms for the first and only time. Sometimes it felt like it was just yesterday that she was as big as house doing her best to waddle through the glee dance routines without tipping over and now her baby was three. She was out there somewhere in the world walking and talking and going to preschool. She was living her innocent life with no idea that Quinn thought about her every single day.

She didn't regret giving her up for adoption. Quinn knew the parents they had chosen were the ones her baby was supposed to have. She knew her little girl was happy and loved and being given all the things she deserved. But that didn't stop Quinn from missing her and wishing she could see her just once. She wouldn't even have to talk to her or hold her – she just wanted to look at her and see with her own two eyes that she was okay.

But that was impossible. The adoptive parents had offered to send Quinn and Puck pictures and updates, but they had agreed that would be too hard and opted for a closed adoption. Quinn still thought they had made the right decision (most of the time). The only pictures she had of her daughter were the ones Rachel's dads had insisted on taking in the hospital. (That was just one of the many things she would always be grateful to them for).

Quinn chewed on her bottom lip and tried to keep the tears from welling up in the corners of her eyes. The sun had set and the lights from the skyline were glowing around the edges of the park. She considered heading home and decided against it. Rachel didn't have any late practices on Tuesday nights and Quinn wasn't stable enough to face her yet.

Rachel would know exactly what day it was and she would smile at her and Quinn would fall to pieces. She didn't want to dump her pain on Rachel. Her best friend had gone above and beyond for her from the moment she'd offered her a place to stay over three years ago. Quinn loved Rachel with all her heart and the least she could do for her was not make her take care of her again. Besides, Puck was going to need Rachel tonight. He was in Georgia, but Quinn had no doubt he would be calling Rachel and he deserved her full attention.

So Quinn was going to stay right where she was until she could get a handle on her pain. It was a beautiful night and spring had always been her favorite season because everything seemed new again. She wondered if her daughter liked being outside. Maybe she had a swing set or a sandbox she liked to play in. The thought made her smile even as the tears began to roll down her cheeks.

"Is this seat taken?"

"No," Quinn replied quickly. She brushed the tears from her eyes and avoided looking at the person who sat down beside her on the bench. Maybe this was a downfall of spring – more people would be flocking to the park at night and it wouldn't be as easy to sit alone and cry. But it was still New York and she doubted he was going to care about her tears.

"Do you want to talk about it?"

Surprised, Quinn turned and found herself looking into familiar blue-gray eyes. "Jesse St. James," she said in disbelief.

"Quinn Fabray," Jesse replied with the hint of a smile.

Of all the people in New York, he has to be the one to sit down next to her, Quinn thought. Physically, he hadn't changed much since the last time she'd seen him at Regional competition the end of her sophomore year. He still tried to keep his brown hair short and contained, but stray curls fell over his forehead. He was dressed all in black and his familiar cocky smile was firmly in place. She was instantly irritated by his presence.

"I'm surprised you remember my name," Quinn said briskly. She eyed Jesse with her infamous ice queen stare. "We didn't have many conversations while you were busy using my best friend to spy on our glee club."

Unfazed, his smile widened. "If I recall, your best friend was using me to make your ex-boyfriend jealous," Jesse countered.

Touché, Quinn thought. Rachel and Jesse's relationship had lasted for about two weeks. Everyone in glee club had been convinced he was using Rachel to find out what songs they were singing in the competition. Rachel had been insulted that they believed she was gullible enough to give him their set list and insisted Jesse was her shot at happiness. But she confided in Quinn that Finn's instant jealousy had given her fresh hope that their relationship still had a chance.

Rachel had been right, of course. Seeing her with Jesse made Finn realize that he wanted to be with Rachel and he made a huge declaration – going as far as singing "Jesse's Girl" in front of the entire glee club – to make sure she knew he was serious about his feelings for her. Rachel ended things with Jesse and he promptly told her he had been using her and he respected her willpower and devotion to her club. The two of them came to some weird understanding and actually shook hands and hugged before parting ways.

Quinn had assumed that Rachel had been too caught up in Finn to care that Jesse had used her. Plus, she had that huge heart and she was a genuinely forgiving person. Quinn knew that better than anyone. But that didn't mean she couldn't hold a grudge against Jesse. The fact that he was still staring her down despite the full dose of the bitch face she was throwing in his direction only added to her irritation.

"Do you want to continue rehashing old grudges or do you want to tell me why you're sitting in the park crying?" Jesse asked.

"I wasn't crying," Quinn replied defensively. His cocky smile had faded and if she didn't know better, she would think he actually looked concerned. But acting was one of his specialties and she was not going to give him the chance of to play whatever game he had in mind.

Jesse raised an eyebrow and she saw that familiar arrogance in his eyes. "Are you going to blame your watery eyes on allergies?"

"What do you care?" Quinn snapped. She shot him one of her icy glares that still made Rachel cower.

"I don't," Jesse replied with an easy shrug. He leaned back against the bench and folded his hands behind his head. "We'll just sit here and enjoy the night air."

Quinn fought the urge to scowl and instead focused on the buildings in the distance. She would just ignore him and after a reasonable amount of time passed, she would get up and walk away. But she was not going to give him the satisfaction of thinking he had run her off. She would sit there all night if she had to.

"_Just a small town girl, living in a lonely world, she took the midnight train going anywhere."_

"Are you kidding me right now?" Quinn demanded, interrupting Jesse before he could sing the next verse of New Directions' signature song. She turned to face him again with fire in her green eyes. "What are you doing?"

"I like to sing when I'm in the park and I thought you might appreciate a familiar song," Jesse replied. His own eyes were sparkling with amusement and his cocky smile had returned. "Would you prefer a Broadway selection? I can sing anything you'd like. I'm very talented," he reminded her.

She opened her mouth to speak and then closed it. Quinn wasn't sure how to respond to him. She knew she should just get up and walk away, but somehow that felt like caving. "I'd prefer if you didn't sing at all," she said, turning away from him once again.

"All right," Jesse said. "You're probably wondering what I'm doing here in New York since I was accepted to the University of California Los Angeles, which of course, is in Los Angeles. I went there for a year and a half and decided I had too much talent to waste on the west coast. I transferred to Julliard last spring which was an ideal move for my career. I'm double majoring in music and dance and of course I'm still taking acting lessons. I expect to be cast in a Broadway show before the year is over."

Quinn didn't know what to say – she wasn't even sure he was looking for any kind of response. Sure enough, Jesse continued talking.

"I live on the Upper West Side within walking distance of campus. My parents are wealthy and made sure I had a nice apartment to live in so that I can concentrate on my studies and further developing my amazing talent. I usually spend my free time walking in Central Park, but I decided I would do something different this evening and that's how I found myself here in Washington Square Park sitting with you," Jesse said.

Quinn sent him another look, this one more exasperated than icy. "Do you like listening to yourself talk?"

"Very much," Jesse replied. "My voice has a soothing quality to it but it's also matter-of-fact. People compliment me on it often. Of course, I wouldn't have to do all the talking if you would contribute to our conversation. Perhaps you can tell me how you came to be in New York City. Or I can keep talking. Would you like to hear my class schedule?"

"No," Quinn replied with a frustrated sigh. She was beaten and they both knew it. "I'm a student at NYU. I live in the village."

"See? That wasn't so hard," Jesse teased. "What are you studying at NYU?"

Quinn bit her lip. She was used to this question and still embarrassed by her answer. "I haven't decided on a major yet." She waited for him to give her the speech about how important the decision was and how it would be best if she picked one before she started her sophomore year. She had heard it from her advisor and most of her friends over and over again. Rachel was the only one who never pressured her for an answer.

Jesse surprised her by simply nodding. "There's a reason colleges require freshmen and sophomores to fill their schedules with general education credits. It's an opportunity for students to find their passion. I have no doubt you'll find yours, Quinn."

She wasn't sure what to say. His confidence was jarring. Part of her still wondered if he was up to something, but what could he possibly have to gain from being nice to her? "Thank you," she said.

"Anytime," Jesse replied. He smiled at her again. "Now that we know each other a little bit better, would you like to tell me what you were upset about? As much as I enjoy talking, I'm also an excellent listener."

In her mind, Quinn heard herself telling him it was nothing. She didn't want to talk about why this day was so hard for her. That was the whole reason she had come to the park. She didn't want to burden Rachel or anyone else with her sadness. In her mind, she said a quick good-bye to Jesse and walked away before he could start telling her the nutritional value of what he'd had for lunch that afternoon. But somehow the quick conversation she made up in her head did not translate when she opened her mouth.

"It's my daughter's third birthday." The instant the words were out of her mouth, Quinn wondered what on earth had possessed her to say them. Jesse St. James was the last person she should be opening herself up to. She stared down at her hands and waited for his inevitable long-winded response.

"You miss her."

The simplicity of the statement threw her. Quinn looked up to meet his gaze and she couldn't really read his expression. He was watching her closely, but he wasn't smirking any more. Instead, he was just waiting for her answer and once again, she was not sure why she gave him one.

"I do miss her." Quinn's voice faltered, but a quick deep breath held the tears back. "I think about her all the time and wonder what she's like. I wonder if she still looks more like me than Puck and I wonder if –" She stopped herself before she can say the words. She had never said them out loud before and she was not sure she could.

"What do you wonder, Quinn?" Jesse asked softly.

The tears were back and there was no stopping them from rolling down her cheeks. He was still watching her just as intensely, but now she could read the look in his eyes. It was encouragement. He was offering her an outlet and she desperately wanted to take it.

"I wonder if she'll ever know how much I love her." She brushed the tears away with the back of her hand, but they just kept falling. "I gave her up because it was the best thing for her. But what if she doesn't see it that way? What if she grows up thinking I'm some horrible monster who didn't care enough to keep her?" The tears blurred her vision and made her voice thick, but she kept talking. "What if she thinks I stopped caring about her the second her parents took her away? What if she hates me?"

"What if she does?" Jesse asked.

Choking on her sobs, Quinn gaped at him. She had just opened her heart and let her feelings pour out and he had the nerve to ask her that question – basically acting like it was no big deal that her daughter might hate her someday. She had always thought he was a self-absorbed douche, but this brought a whole new meaning to the word.

"Is that your idea of comfort? If it is, you're failing miserably," she told him.

Once again, he wasn't fazed by her iciness. His eyes locked with hers. "You're not looking for comfort. If you wanted comfort, you wouldn't be crying in the park pouring your heart out to someone who is a step above a stranger. There's a reason you chose to tell me these things, Quinn. Now answer my question."

"The question being what if my daughter grows up hating me and thinking I never loved her? I'm sure that would be swell, Jesse. Thanks for asking. Maybe instead of singing and acting, you should consider a job where you cheer people up for a living," Quinn snapped.

Jesse laughed softly at her sarcasm. "I'll take it under advisement." His smile faded again and his eyes were serious when they met her. "You're taking my question too literally. All these fears that you have about your daughter growing up hating you are irrational. I assume you did a thorough search before settling on adoptive parents and didn't just hand the baby off to the first couple who walked past your hospital room. Correct?"

"Yes," Quinn hissed, wondering where he was going with this.

"I also think it's safe to assume that the couple in question was extremely grateful to you and promised to take excellent care of your daughter. Am I correct again?" Jesse asked.

"Yes." She still didn't understand what he was getting at, but she wished he would get there quickly.

"The logical conclusion I come to from these astute assumptions is that your daughter is being raised by loving parents who are going to dote on her and make sure she always has plenty of love and support. Since they are grateful to you, I am sure they will tell your daughter wonderful things about the generous girl who wanted her to have a better life. But for argument's sake, let's say that's not enough and she still resents you for giving her away and tells her parents that she's glad she never met you and she couldn't ask for better parents. That brings me back to my original question. What if that happens? Would you wish that you didn't give her up for adoption so she would still love you?" Jesse asked.

"No," Quinn said softly. She finally understood what he was getting at. Her daughter was exactly where she was supposed to be. Her adoptive parents were amazing people and Quinn had no doubt they would tell her little girl how much she loved her. It was irrational to think otherwise. "You must think I'm being selfish."

"Not at all," Jesse replied. "But you do. You think it's selfish to have these thoughts and that's why you've been keeping them to yourself until this moment."

Once again, she knew he was right. She did think it was selfish to dwell on the "what ifs" and worry about whether or not her daughter would ever think about her. She was feeling sorry for herself and she was ashamed of herself for having these feelings. That was why she never said anything to Rachel, why she had come to the park in the first place to avoid her best friend. Quinn didn't want Rachel to know how messed up she really was.

"I just want her to be happy and in my heart, I know she is," Quinn said. Her heart ached as she said the words, but she knew it was the truth. She wiped away the rest of her tears with the back of her hand. She had done the best she could for her daughter and now she just needed to accept that. "I'm always going to miss her though."

Jesse nodded. "You never have to be ashamed because you miss her. There's nothing wrong with thinking about her or even crying because you're not with her on her birthday. That's not selfish."

His tone was reassuring and Quinn found herself starting to believe him. He'd been right about everything else so far, maybe he was right about this too. "Before you sat down, I was thinking about her playing on the swings. When I was three, I loved being pushed on the swing set we had in our backyard. My parents used to tell me that I would have made them keep pushing me all night if they'd let me." For the first time that day, she gave him a genuine smile. "I suppose you were already singing and dancing at three."

"Of course," Jesse replied. His tone was serious, but the twinkle in his eye told her he was kidding. "Actually, I was a big fan of the slide at the local park. The older kids tried to monopolize it, but I stood up to them."

Quinn raised an eyebrow. "At the tender age of three you took on the playground bullies and won?" She didn't bother to hide her skepticism.

"I'm Jesse St. James," he reminded her.

She laughed. "Yes you are." Quinn was still having a hard time wrapping her mind around the fact that she was sitting her with Jesse of all people and he was actually making her feel better.

He surprised her by taking her hand in his. She looked at him with questioning eyes. He squeezed her hand once and then let it fall back into her lap. "You're going to be okay, Quinn."

Something told her that he wasn't just talking about tonight and once again she found herself believing him. "Thank you for listening. I guess I didn't realize how much I needed to get this off my chest."

"You're welcome," Jesse replied. He held gaze for a moment and then his cocky smile returned. "Would you like to sing with me now? We could finish _Don't Stop Believing_ or we could do a song of your choosing."

"Absolutely not," Quinn said.

Jesse laughed. "Your loss. I'm an excellent singing partner, but I'm sure you know that from seeing me perform with Vocal Adrenaline." He stood up. "I should be getting home. I try and get to sleep before eleven so that my body has plenty of time to rest and regroup before vigorous rehearsals."

"I think I finally I understand why it was so easy for Rachel to get past you using her. You two are basically the same person," Quinn commented.

"Rachel and I do possess many of the same qualities. I always admired her drive and ambition and I'm sure her talent has excelled. Please tell her I said hello," Jesse said.

Quinn nodded. "I will. Thanks again, Jesse."

He flashed her one last smile. "I'll be seeing you around, Quinn."

As she watched him walk away, she wondered if that was a promise.


	2. I Feel It In My Heartbeat

**Author's Note: Even though each of these chapters are meant to be stand alone oneshots, I decided to put them together under one title to make it easier for people to keep track. Thanks for all the reviews on the first chapter and a special thanks to Katy for being the awesomest person to ever awesome. On another note, this website sucks and won't let me put transitions in so I literally put (page break) where the scenes shift. *sigh***

When she was a kid, Quinn had loved hot summer days. She would lounge by the pool with her friends, soaking up the sun's rays and diving into the cool water when the heat got to be too much. She loved the way the sun bounced off her pretty hair when she walked and the way the air would turn cooler after the sun went down and she would sit on the deck and stare up at the stars dreaming about all the fun she was going to have for the next few months.

Like everything else, summer heat was more extreme in New York City. It crept into the air as the sun came up each morning and it didn't let go even after it went down at night. She wasn't sure if it had something to do with the skyscrapers or the mobs of people or if it was just her bad luck, but the August heat was nearly unbearable.

The humidity in the air clung to her skin as she walked the three blocks from the café where she'd just worked a brutal seven-hour shift to her apartment. The lightweight tank top and denim skirt did nothing to ease her discomfort; she was still sweltering in the sticky air like she was wearing head-to-toe wool. Her long hair was pulled up in the messiest bun ever (she'd silenced her manager with a death glare when he'd raised an eyebrow at her) and she could still feel stray pieces plastered to the back of her neck. The city was suffering through a drought and if it didn't rain soon, Quinn was confident she was going to hurt someone.

She dragged herself the final block to her apartment building and basked in the cool air that greeted her the second she crossed the threshold into the small lobby. She didn't bother walking to the mailroom (all the good magazines had already come that month and the bills could wait) and pressed the button for the elevator. It was an old building and the elevator was probably the slowest one in the city, but there was no way she was walking up six flights of stairs when there was no ventilation in the stairwell.

After minutes that seemed more like hours, Quinn stepped off the elevator and undid the three deadbolts on the door, practically falling into the apartment with relief. The air conditioning felt like magic on her skin and she took a deep breath to let it soak in. She closed and locked the door behind her, dropped her bag on the floor, stepped out of her shoes and padded toward the kitchen to find relief for her dry throat.

Her mouth felt like she'd been walking through the desert and her body was starting to let the long day catch up with her now that she was away from the heat. She could hear Rachel's voice in her head reminding her that she should be drinking one of the sports drinks filled with electrolytes to keep her energy up, but at the moment, she wanted nothing more than to cool off and crash. Quinn grabbed a bottle of water and drank half of it in one gulp. The icy liquid felt like heaven. She pressed the bottle to her forehead and closed her eyes.

She finished the bottle and tossed it in the recycling bin under the sink and made her way into the living room. She closed the drapes to keep the sunlight out and collapsed on the couch. She pressed herself against the soft, cool fabric and her muscles wept with relief. Closing her eyes once again, Quinn decided she was never moving from this spot again.

"Quinn! I have news!" Rachel Berry bound into the apartment with a smile, narrowly managing to avoid tripping over Quinn's shoes and bag. Too excited to lecture her roommate on the importance of keeping everything in its place, she set the items in the small closet behind the door along with her own. "Quinn!"

Rachel was surprised to see the drapes closed (she always opened them in the morning to greet the day) and was even more surprised to find Quinn sprawled across the couch. Her friend's hand was shielding her eyes and she merely groaned in greeting. Worried, Rachel raced to her side. "Quinn, are you sick?"

Quinn shifted her arm to her forehead and opened one eye to look at Rachel. She was wearing one of her favorite sundresses and her hair was pulled back in a long brain. She looked far too happy considering the world was melting and she had just come from campus.

"I think I have heat stroke." She closed her eye again.

"I told you to drink more electrolytes," Rachel reminded her. "It's important to stay hydrated in weather like this, especially when you're going to be on your feet all day. I really think you should start keeping a bottle in your bag."

"I know," Quinn snapped.

Rachel wasn't the slightest bit offended by her bitchy tone. She knew her friend was hot and tired and she was much too anxious to tell her the big news to worry. "Can you sit up? I have news."

Quinn reluctantly brought herself to a sitting position. She didn't feel like her skin was burning off any more, but she was achy and crabby from the heat. She knew Rachel was not going to be happy until she spilled whatever had her so excited so there was no point in asking if she could take a nap first.

Rachel sat down beside Quinn so she was facing her friend. "As you know, today I was at school rehearsing with my vocal coach. He's one of the best out there and he has been known to work with Broadway stars."

Quinn nodded. She'd heard this story a million times. The vocal coach was a star in his own right at NYU and students had to audition to take lessons with him. She'd had no doubts that Rachel would be accepted to his program, but her roommate had been crazier than usual the week leading up to her audition. It was a true testament to their friendship that Quinn had not smothered her when she'd insisted on practicing until 2 a.m.

"He's been working with the cast of a new show that has a limited run next weekend. Even though it's only a three-night show, there's enormous buzz surrounding it and the show is going to be huge for everyone involved. This show could easily be a star making vehicle for everyone in the cast," Rachel said. She paused for dramatic effect to let the information sink in.

"That's nice," Quinn said. She had no idea where Rachel was going with this, but she was quickly losing interest. So far she wasn't hearing anything that was worth ruining her nap for.

Rachel was disappointed to see Quinn's attention was drifting. She'd planned to draw the speech out even longer to build up to the big moment, but she could tell it was time to get to the big finish. "Guess who has one of the small supporting roles."

Quinn assumed it was one of Rachel's theater friends and her tired brain tried to come up with a name to placate her, but she was drawing a blank. All she could think about was taking a nap. "Who?"

"Jesse St. James." Rachel smiled smugly when Quinn's eyes widened and her mouth dropped open. That was the reaction she'd been waiting for. She finally had her friend's full attention.

"Jesse has a role on Broadway?" Quinn turned the information over in her mind. He had told her that night in the park that he expected to be cast on Broadway before the year was over and a few months later he was. If it were anyone else, it would be hard to believe, but somehow it didn't surprise her that Jesse had made it happen.

"It's a small part, but it's still impressive for an unknown to land something like this. It could be his big break," Rachel said. She watched Quinn carefully for her reaction.

"That's great," Quinn said. She could feel Rachel's eyes on her and she wasn't sure what her friend was looking for. She had told her all about her conversation with Jesse and how he had helped her find peace with her baby's birthday. Rachel had been happy for her and she'd had the same look in her eye that night that she did now. The wheels were turning in her head and Quinn didn't like it.

"I think we should go to the show to support Jesse. Noah is going to be in town that weekend and I think it would be good for Jesse to have familiar faces in the audience. My vocal coach is going to get us three tickets for Saturday night," Rachel said.

Quinn raised an eyebrow. "Do you really think Puck is going to want to spend his Saturday night seeing a Broadway show to support Jesse of all people?" Now she understood the method to Rachel's madness.

"Noah does not have any issues with Jesse and it will be good for him to experience a Broadway show. He's not exposed to any cultural events in Georgia and he should broaden his horizons while he's in Manhattan," Rachel said. "Now stop trying to deflect the conversation when we both know that you want to see Jesse again even if you're afraid to admit it."

Quinn resisted the natural urge to snipe at her friend. Rachel could read her like a book and that still unnerved her. It was times like this that she missed her queen bee days where she had tons of friends, but none of them actually knew her well enough to know what she was thinking. The truth was Jesse had been in the back of her mind (or the front depending on the day) since that night in the park and part of her (all of her) had been hoping to see him again. But New York was a big place and a second chance meeting was highly unlikely.

"I just think it would be weird if the three of us showed up at his show after not talking to him for years," she said lamely.

Rachel rolled her eyes. "You talked to him a few months ago and you said he helped you. This is your chance to pay him back. Quinn, someone we know is going to be on Broadway. I know you've given up the arts, but I know you're well versed enough in the culture to know that this is huge for Jesse."

Quinn sighed. Rachel was right. This was huge for Jesse and she was incredibly happy for him. It would be pretty cool to sit in the audience and watch him perform. "All right, I'll go. But I still don't think Puck is going to be onboard."

"Leave Noah to me," Rachel said. She smiled at her friend and stood up. "I have some reading to do in my room so feel free to go back to your nap. We are going to have an amazing time this weekend," she added before hurrying to her room.

Even though she didn't quite share Rachel's enthusiasm, Quinn found herself caught between being excited and being nervous. She wasn't sure what it was going to be like seeing Jesse again after she had poured her heart out to him. She would never forget how amazing he was that night and the connection she had felt (still felt) to him. Part of her wondered if it was just a fluke and another part of her wondered if it could turn into something more.

Maybe Saturday night would bring an answer.

(page break)

Rachel paced the living room glancing at the clock for what felt like the millionth time. The minutes were rapidly ticking by and they should already be on their way to the theater. She glanced down the narrow hallway and saw that Quinn's door was still closed.

"Quinn! Are you almost ready? We need to leave!" she called.

"In a minute!" Quinn hissed in response, sounding even more annoyed than she had when Rachel had called out to her ten minutes earlier.

Rachel frowned at the clock. They were already pushing their luck since they needed to rely on the subway to get them to Times Square and then they had to walk through the Saturday night crowds to the theater. It was proper theater etiquette to be in their seats at least thirty minutes before the curtain went up. With a sigh, she decided she needed to hurry Quinn along.

"Don't do it," Noah Puckerman warned.

She turned to where he sat on the couch flipping through the _Sports Illustrated_ she had picked up for him. He looked particularly handsome in the black dress pants and dark blue dress shirt he wore. His black tie was loose and slightly crooked and for some reason that made her heart beat a little faster. She ordered herself not to lose focus. "We're going to be late," she pointed out.

"That's Q's nuclear voice. She will tear your head off if you go in there," Puck replied. He'd been friends with her long enough to know when it was best to stay the fuck away from her and this was one of those times. "Why don't you tell me why this play is so important that you're making me wear a tie?"

Rachel sighed again. "We've been through this, Noah. I want to support Jesse. This is a big deal."

Puck raised an eyebrow. "Don't bullshit me, Munchkin. That head of yours has an agenda. That's right," he said when she smiled. "Agenda. Spill it."

Rachel glanced down the hall to make sure Quinn's door was still closed before sitting down beside him on the couch. "I'm doing this for Quinn. You know how closed off she's become." She busied herself with straightening his tie as she broached the sensitive subject. "She doesn't do anything for herself but she was different after she was with Jesse that night. I just want her to be happy."

Puck took her hands in his and held them in his lap. He knew she was choosing her words carefully so she didn't upset him. Thinking about their daughter always hurt a little, but he'd (mostly) made peace with their decision. But the subject was Quinn's issues, not his.

"Q is still Q," he reminded her. Puck knew Quinn might be quieter and more reserved than she'd been before she'd gotten pregnant, but she could still be a hell bitch at the drop of a hat if she felt like it and she was by no means stupid. "She has to know what you're up to."

"Exactly," Rachel replied, her smile widening. "That means she's interested and she just doesn't want to admit it." She was convinced Quinn wanted something to happen with Jesse and she just needed an extra push. Rachel could see Noah was looking at her like she was crazy, but she was not offended because she knew she was right. "Trust me," she said. "This is going to work out for perfectly."

"All right," Puck said with a shrug. Sure, he wanted Quinn to be happy, but he was more interested in the deal Rachel had offered to get him to agree to spend his Saturday night at some boring ass play. "But I'm going to hold you to that promise you made me whether Quinn hooks up with Jesse or not." He traced his hand over her thigh, underneath the black and white dress she wore, smirking when her cheeks reddened.

"I'm ready," Quinn announced. She made a face when Rachel jumped up from the couch with a guilty look on her face and Puck just laughed. She wanted to remind her best friend that she knew they had sex, but Rachel might die from the embarrassment and Quinn was not facing this evening alone.

Rachel nodded approvingly at Quinn's pink slip dress. "That color is perfect for you, Quinn. Of course, I could have helped you pick it out earlier and then maybe we could have avoided leaving at the last minute," she pointed out.

Puck saw an all too familiar warning flicker in Quinn's eyes and stood up quickly. "Let's get going," he said, slipping his arm around Rachel and pushing her toward the door. He grabbed Quinn's wrist with his free hand and tugged her along as well. He wanted to get the play portion of the night over with so he could get his reward and that wasn't going to happen if Quinn killed Rachel.

Quinn rolled her eyes at his less than subtle mediation tactics, but she held her tongue. She knew Rachel wouldn't be Rachel if she didn't freak out over the time and make comments about how her way would have been better. Quinn didn't want to dwell on the petty annoyances when she was busy freaking out about the fact that she was going to be seeing Jesse in an hour.

(page break)

Quinn jumped to her feet the second the show ended and clapped harder than she ever had in her life. She hadn't been sure what to expect. Rachel had dragged her to several Broadway shows since they had moved to the city and while she usually enjoyed herself, Quinn didn't love theater the way Rachel did. She watched the show and forgot about it within a few days while Rachel had a tendency to chatter on about direction and pitch for days on end.

But the second Jesse had come on stage Quinn had been mesmerized by him. He was playing a supporting character, but he commanded the audience's full attention. She'd watched in awe and the second he took center stage and started to sing about unrequited love, her heart had turned over in her chest with a hard thud.

Quinn remained on her feet clapping enthusiastically as the chorus and the dancers took their bows. Jesse came out next and she clapped even harder. He took a bow and smiled into the audience and for a brief second she wondered if he could see her. She immediately chided herself for having such a ridiculous thought.

The leads took their bows before the director joined them onstage and the cast took one last bow before the curtain closed. The second it did, Rachel turned to Quinn, her brown eyes shining with excited tears.

"You loved it, didn't you? How could anyone not love it?" she continued before Quinn could open her mouth. "The writing was fantastic and all the actors were top caliber. The singing was wonderful too even if the lead girl was a little sharp on certain notes but I would guess that was probably just nerves. Jesse was magnificent, wasn't he? We all know how good of a performer he is after watching him with Vocal Adrenaline, but this is Broadway and –" She was cut off when Puck clamped his hand over her mouth.

"Take a breath, Munchkin." He dropped his hand from her mouth and let it rest on her shoulder. "Q, did you like the show?"

"Yes," Quinn replied, trying not to smile as she watched Rachel glaring up at Puck.

"She liked it," Puck told Rachel, not the slightest bit concerned with the scowl on her face. He squeezed her shoulder. "Can we go now?"

"No." Rachel sent him another look over her shoulder and turned back to Quinn with a smile. "We can't leave until we congratulate Jesse."

Quinn was about to tell her that Jesse was probably busy and there was no way they could go backstage without permission, but there was something smug in her smile that made Quinn think she was missing something. She narrowed her eyes. "What's going on?"

"Jesse is expecting us," Rachel said casually.

"What?" Quinn cried. In the back of her mind she had known there was a miniscule chance she might come face to face with Jesse, but she never should have underestimated Rachel's ability to get what she wanted. "When did you talk to Jesse?" she demanded.

"I haven't spoken to Jesse, but he is expecting us," Rachel said. She could see Quinn was mad and she found herself moving a little closer to Puck as she explained. "I asked my vocal coach to tell him we were coming when he got us the tickets. Jesse said he would meet us outside twenty minutes after the curtain call."

Quinn sighed. "You might have mentioned this before," she muttered. The nerves she had been fighting all day started to build again in her stomach. It had taken her two hours to get ready because she'd been running through scenarios where she unexpectedly ran into Jesse and had no idea what to say to him. But she'd convinced herself that the odds were slim and she was just going to be glimpsing him from the audience.

"I didn't want you to be nervous or find an excuse not to come," Rachel replied, once again reading her mind. "We talked about this, Quinn. You wanted to see Jesse again. This is your chance. Stop fighting it and let's go outside before he thinks we've stood him up."

"How long is this going to take?" Puck asked. He was already loosening his tie.

Rachel elbowed him in the ribs. "Noah."

Quinn ignored their banter as they made their way out of the theater. The sidewalk was overflowing with people but Rachel walked through the crowd with a purpose until they reached the other side of the theater where the cast and crew entrance was. There were a decent amount of people waiting there as well and Quinn wondered if they were family and friends or fans waiting for autographs. Before she could let herself get worked up again, the door opened and Jesse walked out.

He was wearing dark jeans and a black long sleeved shirt and his hair was expertly tousled. Quinn's heart flipped over in her chest one more time and she wondered what it was going to take to make that stop. She had never been the girl who got nervous around boys and here she was wishing she could disappear into the sidewalk so she didn't have to talk to the one who she hadn't stopped thinking about for months.

He made his way toward them and Quinn found herself cowardly moving to stand behind Puck as Jesse focused on Rachel. "Rachel Berry." Jesse offered his onetime girlfriend a friendly smile. "How are you?"

"Very good," Rachel replied, returning the smile and giving him a quick hug. "The show was excellent, Jesse. You should be extremely happy with all your hard work."

"I am," Jesse assured her. "As you know it's rare for someone my age to have such a unique opportunity but hard work pays off. I have no doubt you'll be here soon."

"I will be," Rachel agreed confidently. "Jesse, you remember Noah Puckerman and obviously you know Quinn."

Jesse nodded politely at Puck. "Thanks for coming to the show." He shifted his gaze to Quinn who was still half hidden behind Puck. "Did you enjoy the performance?" he asked.

She met his gaze and her heart somersaulted for what seemed like the millionth time. Quinn hated herself for being that girl. Jesse was waiting for an answer and it was time to get a grip on the craziness that had overtaken her.

"It was great," Quinn replied with a genuine smile. "You were amazing."

Jesse's own smile widened like he'd been waiting for her to talk him. "Thank you." He held her gaze for another minute and then seemed to remember that they were not alone. "The cast is gathering at a bar a few blocks from here to unwind. I know you're all underage, but I think I can manage to get you past the bouncer."

"You should take Quinn!" Rachel interjected before anyone else could speak. "No one would ever believe I'm twenty-one due to my small frame and stature. Besides, Noah and I have dinner reservations we're going to be late for. Congratulations again on your role. Quinn, I'll see you later." She reached for Puck's hand and dragged him away before Quinn or Jesse could react.

Quinn wished the ground would swallow her as she watched Rachel and Puck turning the corner toward Times Square. She was going to have a long talk with her best friend about the art of being subtle and why it was not okay to leave her standing on the sidewalk with Jesse after that ridiculous speech. Then she was going to murder her. But before that lovely moment, she was going to have to face Jesse.

"I'm sorry about that," Quinn said. She dared to look at him and he was smiling at her in that knowing way that both intrigued and infuriated her.

"I'm not sorry," Jesse said. He reached for her hand and gently tugged her in the opposite direction. "Rachel's technique might be lacking, but I don't mind spending time alone with you. I prefer it, actually."

Quinn willed herself not to blush, but she couldn't stop the smile that spread across her face.

(page break)

Ten minutes later, Quinn found herself sitting at a table against the back wall of a small bar that was filled with the cast and crew of the play as well as their personal guests. The bouncer had greeted Jesse by name and barely glanced at Quinn as they walked by. It was clear Jesse was well known – and well liked – by everyone in the room. She watched him at the bar chatting animatedly with the bartender as he waited for their drinks.

Neither one of them had said much during the short walk from the theater. Jesse had told her about auditioning for the part and Quinn had tried to get a grip on her nerves. It wasn't like she'd never been on a date before – not that this was a date – at least she didn't think it was. Rachel had forced her into this, but Jesse had said he preferred being alone with her. Maybe if she knew exactly what was happening between them, she would have a better idea how she was supposed to act around him.

Jesse returned and handed her one of the bottles of water he held. She'd been tempted to order something alcoholic for liquid courage, but she wasn't a big drinker and the last thing she needed was to say something embarrassing. Jesse had two shows the next day and he had explained in great detail why alcohol was bad for his voice. Once again, Quinn had been slightly unnerved by how similar he and Rachel were.

"It seems like everyone here knows your name," Quinn commented after Jesse settled into the chair across from hers. The table was small and his knee bumped against hers. "Did you come here a lot after rehearsals?"

Jesse nodded. "The owner of the bar is the director's brother-in-law so he is very accommodating to all of us. We've been rehearsing every day since early July. It's going to be strange not to come here every day once this weekend is over." He paused to take a sip of water. "How has your summer been?"

"Good," Quinn replied. "I'm not taking any classes so I've been working a lot of shifts at the café." She realized how boring that sounded. "I went to Myrtle Beach for the fourth with Rachel to watch some of Puck's games." As soon as the words were out of her mouth, she decided that sounded even worse. It sounded like she didn't have a life of her own. Granted, she wasn't exactly a social butterfly, but she hadn't realized how much she had closed herself off from the rest of the world either.

"I enjoy Myrtle Beach and it must have been nice to get out of the city for a few days," Jesse replied. He surprised her by reaching across the table and taking her hand in his. "It's okay to be yourself around me, Quinn."

She swallowed hard, wondering how he managed to do that. This was only the second time they had ever been alone together and yet he seemed to know exactly what was going on in her head. "I guess I don't want you to think I'm boring," she admitted.

Jesse's eyes met hers. "Nothing about you is boring, Quinn," he said softly making her heart flip over in her chest again as her face reddened. His familiar smirk appeared. "It's not your fault that your life isn't as glamorous as mine, but someday it will be."

Quinn laughed, somehow knowing he was kidding. She felt herself starting to relax for the first time since he had appeared outside the theater. "You haven't seen glamour until you've served coffee to crabby people for eight hours straight," she joked.

"How long have you worked there?" Jesse asked.

"Over a year now," Quinn said. "I have a full scholarship to NYU and Rachel's dads insist on paying the rent so Rachel and I just pay for utilities and other living expenses. It's not a horrible job and my manager is flexible with the hours when I need him to be."

Jesse nodded. "Do your classes start again soon?"

"Two more weeks," Quinn replied. She wasn't really looking forward to meeting with her advisor and letting him know that she still had not picked a major. "What about you? Have you been taking summer classes?"

"I was taking a few, but I dropped them when I took this role. School starts again after Labor Day, but I'm going to miss the first few weeks. I'm leaving for London to visit my parents next week and from there I'm traveling through Europe with some friends," Jesse said.

"That sounds like fun," Quinn said, forcing herself to smile even though she was disappointed to hear he was going to be leaving the city for over a month. She knew she had no right to be. She wasn't even sure if this qualified as a date and there was no guarantee he'd want to see her again anyway. She was really starting to hate this insecure girl who she didn't remember becoming.

"It will be," Jesse agreed. "I've been to Europe many times over the years with my parents but it will be nice to spend time with my friends. Have you ever been?"

Quinn shook her head. "My parents always promised they would send me as a graduation present, but that didn't happen after the whole pregnancy issue." She couldn't keep the bitterness out of her tone that always managed to seep in when she mentioned her parents.

Jesse seemed to hesitate for a moment before speaking. "Do you talk to them?" he asked, squeezing her hand that he still held.

"Not much," Quinn said. She reached for her water with her free hand and took a long sip. She could see that he was curious and she figured she might as well tell him the whole story. "My parents offered to let me come back home once they found out I gave the baby up for adoption, but I turned them down. I couldn't go back to a place where I wasn't wanted."

"It was their loss," Jesse replied. He squeezed her hand again and smiled sweetly when her eyes met his. "Would you like to order dinner? The food here is really good even if it is not exactly part of my strict diet."

Quinn smiled. "I'd like that," she agreed.

(page break)

The night air was considerably cooler when they walked out of the bar several hours later. The breeze whipped Quinn's hair around her face and made her wish she was wearing something with sleeves. She rubbed her hands over her arms to try and combat the goose bumps that were popping up over her skin.

"It looks like we're finally going to get that storm the weatherman has been predicting," Jesse said. He put his arm around her shoulders and pulled her close to him as they walked. "I'm sorry I don't have a jacket to offer you."

"That's okay," Quinn replied. She was very grateful for the cool air as she leaned into Jesse. It had been way too long since she'd cuddled with anyone and she loved the feeling of the weight of his arm draped over her shoulders. "Maybe if it rains the city will finally break out of the heat wave."

"It has been a hot summer," Jesse agreed. He glanced down at her as they turned the corner and they found themselves blinking as their eyes adjusted to the sudden bright lights of Times Square. "I think we're doing this backward."

Confused, Quinn stopped walking and met his gaze. "What do you mean?"

He smirked at her. "I think the rules of social interaction imply trivial topics like the weather should be discussed at the beginning of the evening and then we're supposed to work our way up to the more serious stuff."

Quinn laughed. "Who wants to be conventional?"

Jesse's smirk turned into a smile. "You're right." He squeezed her shoulder and Quinn decided to take the next step, draping her arm around his waist. His smile widened, but he didn't say anything.

She was disappointed to see they were quickly approaching the subway station. Despite the fact that they had spent hours talking, Quinn still wasn't sure whether or not Jesse considered this a date or if he was going to want to see her again. She felt silly asking, but the last thing she wanted to do was get on the subway without knowing one way or the other. She tried to come up with the most tactful way to ask him without seeming desperate.

"Are you sure I can't get you a cab?" Jesse asked, interrupting her thoughts. He'd already offered a few times because he didn't like the idea of her taking the subway and walking back to her apartment alone at this late hour.

Quinn shook her head. "It's not necessary. The subway drops me off one block from my apartment and I have Mace." She smiled. "But I appreciate the sentiment," she said.

Jesse didn't look convinced, but he nodded. "May I see your cell phone?"

"Sure," Quinn said, thrown off by the question. She pulled her phone out of her purse and handed it to him. "Are you looking to buy a new one?"

Jesse laughed softly. "No, I like my iPhone." He keyed his number into her phone and then pressed the send key. When his phone rang, he ended the call and handed her the phone back. "Now it will be easier for us to keep in touch."

"Good idea," Quinn said. She smiled at him. "I hope you have a nice time in Europe. Maybe we can talk when you get back," she said, hoping her tone sounded casual enough.

"Or we can talk while I'm there. I have international calling and messaging on my phone since my parents spend so much time in Europe," Jesse explained. He reached out and tucked a stray piece of hair behind her ear. "I'd like to see you when I get back."

Quinn was pretty sure her heart was going to burst right out of her chest. "I'd like that," she said.

"Good. Do me a favor and text me when you get back to your apartment so I know you're home safe," Jesse said.

"I will," Quinn promised. Feeling bold, she moved closer to him and pressed her lips against his cheek, letting them linger there. "Good night, Jesse."

He smiled at her and she was pleased to see a hint of red in his cheeks. "Good night, Quinn."


	3. Set Fire to the Rain

When Quinn was nine years old, she had asked her father why the sky was a different color blue in the fall than it was during the rest of the year. He'd told her that it was always the same shade of blue and she was just looking at it differently. But she'd known she was right and she'd tried her hardest to convince him to walk away from his desk for just a second and look at the color of the sky. He'd told her to go show her mother or her sister and she'd just sighed and made her way back to her bedroom to look out her window and ponder her question while she brushed her doll's hair.

Every year when the end of September rolled around, Quinn found herself still wondering the answer as she looked at the bright cobalt sky. It was different than the summer sky or the spring sky or even the winter sky on those rare, cloudless days where the sky was blue again and not a dreary gray. But the autumn sky seemed to be both brighter and darker and even though Quinn still didn't know why that happened, it always made her smile when she walked outside and saw the deep blue that only fall could bring.

She took comfort in the color of the sky as she walked across the NYU campus. It was one of the few things she knew she could always rely on. Fall would come every year and bring with it cooler temperatures that forced her to wear sweaters over her dresses, light breezes that would eventually turn cold when the sun went down and a brilliant blue sky that would make her smile and for a few moments, Quinn let herself bask in it and not think about anything else.

Her phone vibrated in her purse, bringing Quinn out of her thoughts as she scrambled to grab it. She'd had classes all morning and then she'd been in the library studying and she'd forgotten to turn the ringer back on, so she allowed herself to hope that this might be the message she'd been waiting for. She pulled the phone out, familiar anticipation coursing through her as she ran her finger across the screen to see who had messaged her.

When she saw Rachel's name, Quinn visibly deflated as she mentally admonished herself for getting excited over nothing. She read the message, saw that her roommate was going to be staying late for an extra session with her vocal coach and Quinn replied, telling Rachel that she'd see her when she came home. Quinn slipped the phone back into her purse and veered off course, turning and walking toward the park instead of heading back to her apartment like she'd originally planned.

Quinn knew it was a bad idea as she passed under the arch, but she didn't care. She was angry with herself for getting her hopes up and she knew she was just going to go home and mope so she might as well sit in the park and do it. She paid little attention to the people around her as she made her way down the familiar trail and sat down on the bench that she'd long ago started thinking of as "their" bench in her head. She couldn't help the smile that crossed her face as she remembered Jesse sitting beside her, singing _Don__'__t__Stop__Believing_.

The smile faded from her face as she focused on the ache in her chest instead. Quinn didn't understand what happened. It had been six weeks since the night Rachel had dragged her and Puck to see Jesse's play on Broadway; six weeks since he'd taken her to the bar for the cast party and made her think that maybe, just maybe, she wasn't imagining things and he was interested in her. He'd put his number in her phone and she'd kissed him on the cheek and she'd gushed to Rachel the next morning, admitting what they'd both known ever since the spring day she'd come home from the park and told Rachel she'd run into Jesse. Quinn had started out intrigued by him and she'd tumbled into a full-blown crush by the time she'd said goodnight to him at the subway station.

He left for Europe a few days later and he'd started texting her almost immediately. He'd sent her various pictures of himself in front of famous landmarks. He'd wished her luck on her first day of school. He'd called her on the phone after her first week and they'd talked for nearly four hours until she'd barely been able to keep her eyes open. The next morning, she'd woken up to a picture of the sunrise waiting for her on her phone. Quinn was pretty sure her heart had actually fluttered. He'd sent her a few more messages after that and told her that he'd be back in New York on the fifteenth. She had barely refrained from drawing hearts over the date on her calendar.

But the fifteenth had come and gone and she hadn't heard a word from Jesse. At first, Quinn had assumed he was just busy getting reacquainted with his life in New York. She knew he'd missed the first few weeks of school and she assumed he probably had things to catch up on or maybe he had auditions to rehearse for. Rachel came up with a color-coded list of possible explanations to make her feel better. Puck added one at the bottom when she wasn't looking and Quinn and Puck had both laughed pretty hard when Rachel started to read that Jesse had been eaten by a dragon.

Quinn had allowed herself to be pacified by some of the more likely items on the list and she'd concentrated on school and work and did her best not to think about Jesse every second of the day. But a week after Jesse was supposed to have been back in the city, Quinn had been running an errand for her boss and she'd seen Jesse with three other people coming out of a café a few blocks away from her apartment. Like a coward, Quinn had ducked back into the store she'd just left, hiding just inside the doorway until she was sure Jesse and his friends were gone.

That had been three days ago. She'd told Rachel about it as soon as she'd gotten home that day and as hard as she tried, Rachel hadn't been able to come up with a single scenario except for the truth that Quinn laid out for her: Jesse wasn't interested enough to call her now that he was back in the city.

She was hurt and she was angry; not at Jesse but at herself. She knew better than to let her emotions drive her actions. Quinn took a deep breath, focusing on the color of the sky as she told herself that she was not going to cry over a boy who had never been hers in the first place.

Quinn's last class of the day was canceled on Friday and she had the afternoon to herself. The morning's sapphire sky had been replaced by thick, gray clouds and Quinn shivered in her cotton dress as she pulled her denim jacket tighter around herself. The early sunshine had been deceptive and she could already feel the rain in the air even though it hadn't started to fall yet. The wind whipped her hair around her face and she decided to detour to the corner café to grab a cup of coffee before she made her way home.

She decided to indulge herself and ordered a large hot chocolate with whipped cream instead. Quinn paid for her drink and used the Styrofoam cup to warm her hands as she took a seat at one of the tables near the window. Quinn pulled a magazine from her bag and flipped through it as she sipped her drink and let her mind drifted to the upcoming weekend. She had to work most of the day on Sunday so she was going to have to spend a good portion of Saturday studying.

A knock on the window beside her made Quinn jump and she barely managed to hold onto her drink as she turned her head to see Jesse standing on the other side of the glass. She hated the fact that her heart fluttered for a brief second when she saw the smile on his face. He lifted his hand to wave at her, not giving her a chance to react before he walked away. She knew he was heading for the door and she actually contemplated how long it would take her to pick up her stuff and run away.

It became a moot point when she felt his hand on her shoulder a few seconds later. Quinn forced herself to get a grip, not wanting to embarrass herself anymore than she already had. Quinn steeled her expression as she raised her eyes to meet his. "Jesse," she greeted him coolly, doing her best to act like her heart wasn't still bouncing around in her chest trying to decide if it was excited or aching.

"Quinn," Jesse replied, seemingly unaffected by her cold tone. He smiled at her, his hand still on her shoulder. "How are you?" he asked.

"Fine," Quinn replied. She tried to channel the stuck up bitch she'd been in high school before she'd gotten pregnant and still thought being popular was the most important thing in the world. She didn't want Jesse to know how much it had hurt that he hadn't called her. "What are you doing in the village?" she asked, trying not to sound too curious.

"I was looking for you," Jesse replied. He squeezed her shoulder and pointed to the line. "I'm going to get some tea. It's better for my vocal cords than coffee," he explained before making his way across the café.

Quinn's mouth fell open as she watched him. How could he just act like everything was normal? She'd shared incredibly personal things with him, stuff she hadn't even told Rachel and then he'd just stopped talking to her only to show up randomly at a café and tell her that he was looking for her. That part didn't even make sense; it wasn't like he'd known that she would be at this café. _She_ hadn't even known she was going to be there until she'd walked through the door.

She slipped her magazine back into her bag and resisted the urge to pull out her phone and text Rachel for advice. Quinn reached for her hot chocolate instead and took another long sip as she watched Jesse out of the corner of her eye. He was chatting animatedly with the barista who was making his tea. She ignored the irrational stab of jealousy in her chest. Jesse wasn't her boyfriend; she wasn't even sure she could call him a friend anymore. Friends didn't just drop off the face of the earth.

He was making his way back to her table and Quinn sat up straighter in her chair, arching an eyebrow at him as he slid into the seat across from her. He was still smiling at her and she fought the urge to smile back. She refused to be happy to see him. "Why were you looking for me?" she asked, trying to sound casual, bored even.

Quinn saw a flash of something in Jesse's eyes that she couldn't read, but for a brief second, she thought it was hurt. She immediately assumed she had to be imagining it because why would he be hurt? He was the one who hadn't bothered to let her know that he was back in the country. She took another sip of her drink, attempting to swallow her bitterness along with the chocolate and cream flavors.

"I've been looking for you since I got back," Jesse explained. He set his drink down on the table as he leaned forward, his eyes locking with hers as he spoke. "You never told me where you lived or the exact name of the café where you work. I know you attend NYU, but it's a large campus and I wasn't sure where to start so I've been searching the cafés in the village," he explained.

Her heart was racing again even as Quinn ordered herself to stay calm. She recalled seeing him and his friends coming out of that café and she wanted to ask if he'd been looking for her then, but she didn't know how to ask the question without admitting that she'd purposely hidden from him. She bit the corner of her lip and decided to go with a small lie. "I thought I saw you a few days ago near 5th," she said.

Jesse nodded as he reached for his tea. "I have a few friends who live in the area and one of them told me there was a waitress who fit your description. It wasn't you." He took a sip of his tea, his eyes never leaving hers. "I'm sure you're wondering why I didn't just call you which would have been much simpler. I lost my phone," he explained.

Quinn recalled that being one of Rachel's top bullet points. She'd gone off on a tangent about how many people lost their phones on a regular basis and all their contacts with it because no one had a backup system. Rachel had three backup systems and she was always encouraging Quinn and Puck to do the same. She pushed the thought out of her mind as she studied Jesse. He looked completely serious and she supposed he didn't have any reason to lie. If he'd wanted to avoid her, he would have just kept walking and not stopped to knock on the window and get her attention.

But she couldn't bring herself to just accept what he was saying, not yet. She raised her eyebrow again as she met his gaze across the table. "You strike me as the type who would have multiple backup systems in a situation like that," she pointed out.

Jesse nodded. "I normally do but I was so busy before I left town that I didn't have a chance to update my backup file on my laptop. Quinn, I wouldn't just stop trying to contact you," he told her bluntly.

She saw the flash in his eyes again and this time Quinn knew it was hurt. She bit the corner of her lip as she hesitantly reached across the table and placed her hand over his. "I'm sorry I doubted you. I think I'm just used to expecting the worst from people. I know that's not an excuse," she said.

"Why don't we start again?" Jesse suggested. "It's nice to see you, Quinn. How have you been?" he asked.

Quinn smiled, relieved that he was letting her off the hook so easily after the way she had behaved. "It's nice to see you too, Jesse."

When they left the café three hours later, Jesse had her number, Rachel's number, their address and the name of the café she worked at in his phone, written in his day planner and scribbled on the inside cover of the book he'd had in his bag. Quinn had rolled her eyes at his excessiveness even as her heart had fluttered once more.

It was just over a week later when he showed up at her apartment to take her out for their first official date. The school day had dragged on forever as Quinn tried not to be nervous. She walked out of her last class and noticed the sky was a darker shade of blue than usual and she hoped it wasn't a bad sign that it looked like it was going to storm any minute. She reminded herself that she wasn't the type of person who believed in signs or omens and she was clearly spending too much time with Rachel. She hurried home, grateful that she made it there before the rain started.

She spent way more time than was necessary picking out her outfit. Jesse had told her to dress casual, so she'd settled on jeans and a light pink v-neck sweater. Her hair had been another issue and Quinn had finally decided to just leave it down. Jesse arrived exactly five minutes before he'd told her he would pick her up and Rachel stood in the living room with a large grin on her face. Quinn had begged her not to make a big deal out of this and despite the fact that she was practically bouncing as she chatted with Jesse about her vocal coach, Rachel was actually pretty tame for Rachel.

Still smiling, Rachel closed the door behind them a few minutes later, telling them to have a nice night and Quinn knew she was probably already dialing Puck's number to let out the squeal she'd been holding in. Quinn nearly smirked at the thought, but then Jesse took her hand in his and she looked up, meeting his gaze.

"You look beautiful, Quinn. I'm happy we're finally doing this," he told her.

Right on cue, her heart did a somersault as her cheeks heated. "Me too and thank you," Quinn added as she let him guide her toward the elevator. She couldn't remember the last time she'd been this excited. She immediately rephrased that. She couldn't remember the last time she'd been this excited that didn't involve Jesse. If someone would have told her two years ago that she'd be going on a date with Jesse St. James, she would have laughed in that person's face. But here she was, holding his hand as butterflies danced in her stomach like some kind of horrible cliché.

The elevator doors opened and Jesse was telling her about an audition he had gone on the night before as they crossed the lobby. Quinn pushed open the main door and was about to ask him which way they were headed when the sky opened open, drenching them both in a matter of seconds. Quinn gaped at Jesse as she pushed her dripping hair out of her face. He was doing the same as large droplets of water continued to assault them. Their eyes met and they both started to laugh.

"I hope the restaurant you picked out caters to the drowned rat look," Quinn teased as she moved closer to the building, standing under the awning and uselessly trying to shield herself from the downpour. Water rolled off her jacket as she moved and she felt her hair plastering itself to the sides of her head. She could only imagine what she looked like at the moment.

Jesse shook his head, sending raindrops flying as he huddled beside her. "We might need to rethink our plans for the evening." He reached out, brushing a stray piece of hair from her face and Quinn swallowed hard as she leaned into his touch. She stepped closer to him without realizing what she was doing. His hand was still on her cheek and his eyes dropped to her lips before his gaze returned to hers. He leaned in, lowering his head until his lips brushed lightly against hers.

His lips were soft as they moved against hers. Quinn moved closer to him, wrapping her arms around his neck as his other hand gripped her hip. His tongue teased the seam of her lips and she opened her mouth for him, letting him deepen the kiss. Her head was spinning but she couldn't seem to focus on anything except how good it felt that he was finally kissing her and it was even better than she'd imagined.

The kiss broke when air started to become an issue and Jesse pulled back just enough to meet her eyes. "I've been waiting to do that since that first day I saw you sitting in the park," he admitted.

Quinn felt herself blushing even as she raised an eyebrow at him. "Was it the tears or my crazy rambling that attracted you to me?" she asked.

Jesse ignored her disbelieving tone as he brushed his thumb over her cheek. "It was you, Quinn," he replied simply.

She was pretty sure the heart flutter was permanent.


End file.
